[who am i kiddin'?]

last night, we chatted on the phone for awhile. we acted as if everything was normal. maybe he really thought everything is normal. lately, i feel uneasy everytime he's near or we're conversing. i wanna get away from him. i do not know why. i did not make any breakfast today, cuz im suffering from a stiff neck. i had take-away from the eating house nearby. it feels different not able to drink coffee that i brewed myself early in the morning. shir juz called me, and it turned out none of them went ridleys yesterday. she told me flor went trippin' the friday that juz passed. i guess flor did not ask me along most probably for my own good. KJ wants me to go do some business with him today. i'm getting pretty tired of doing all these dangerous things for him. and i think he's juz trying to use me. i'll think of a good excuse later. before KJ called me last night, EC called me and he was behaving rather crazy. he kept on yellin' at me and i didn't know how to shut him up. he said he couldn't forget me and he sworn to get back on KJ. i told him he should try to get a life. he demanded KJ's number and i finally decided to hang up on him. i think he's probably drunk. i feel kinda sorry for him. i have guys showering me with luv, why do i get caught up with a jerk who is oblivious to the kindness i've shown him. shir told me i should leave KJ cuz he's only using me and he doesn't luv me. i told her, we're only together for company. no commitment involved. who am i kiddin'?

April 28, 2002 - 1:49 pm