[can i take another blow?]

today, i woke up rather early. and got this sudden urge to make macaroni for breakfast. i also had some baked beans. KJ has gone missing. i called him several times last night and he did not answer. he sms me saying his mobile hanged. some lame excuse huh. i sms him to call me back but he has not. i had no news from him since last night. i've come to a final decision i will not call him again, i will not answer his calls either. most probably, he won't call me. but anyway, for the time being, i just thought we need some time alone. i chatted with DG yesterday and we talked alot about EJ. i realise everytime i hear his name, i still feel the hurt. i don't know where has he gone to but i think he should be in peace. i want to feel happy for him but i simply can't. i miss his voice early in the morning. everyday, he has this stupid habit of calling me while i was sleeping and wake me up. he enjoys it. i miss talking to him late at night before we sleep. and everytime he will be so distracted with his playstation, and he will accuse me of not paying attention instead. i miss looking at him everytime when he drive me home and that goodbye kiss. is it because i couldn't find any comfort in KJ so im beginning to think of EJ again?? i wish all these pain will come to an end soon. i got hurt twice in a row. can i take another blow?

April 29, 2002 - 1:04 pm