[the reason]

he was late to meet me at the airport. when he finally showed up, he found me sobbing in the international terminal and started explaining about how his alarm clock was broken.

i wanted to kill him because i took a 6:00 am flight so i could see him, and now he's talking to me about how household appliances made in japan are defective and i can't believe he wasn't up all night waiting for me the way i would have been for him. but i didn't say that, realising in some tiny little sane corner of my brain that i am crazy and he probably isn't.

i sat there and cried all the way into city and he said we'd talk when i was calm.

in a restaurant, he told me he couldn't stay in the relationship, i need him too much, and so do all these other people, and he just wanted to be a normal guy who enjoys his last years before 30 and drops alot of acid and fucks alot of women and doesn't have to worry about someone like me.

i didn't respond because i thought i might be dead.

July 04, 2005 - 5:40 pm