[i can't do anything right]

driving at night where there were no streetlights, where the road dipped and curved, places i could close my eyes for half minute at a time, open them and not know for a few more moments if i am still on the same side of the road. those used to be the only things that could calm me from this anxiety that is so high and this depression that is so low.

so tonight i tried to fall into old habits, but i just worried about gas mileage and laundry and work and if i am getting another fever and if i should take something for this headache that's been throbbing in my temples, in my teeth, making my heart ache and my eyes burn.

February 11, 2004 - 2:16 am